In a cognitive approach to anxiety step one is becoming aware of our automatic thoughts. When you feel anxiety starting ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way?” It is normal to try to blame some circumstance. Stop yourself and ask, “What did I think about that situation that made me anxious? “ If you can’t remember, then ask, “”What do kind of thought about this situation would have made me anxious? What do I think I thought?” Remembering the exact thought is not essential, getting the flavor of it is what counts.
It can be helpful to write out the anxiety producing thought. Then score yourself on how strongly you believe right then on a scale of 0(not at all) to 10 (completely believe it). Also score your anxiety on a similar scale or 0 (perfect calmness) to 10 (ready to run down the street screaming and pulling your hair out).
Step two is to ruthlessly analyze the anxiety producing thought. Remember the best lie is the lie that has a shred of truth in it. Your anxiety is probably produced by thinking that has truth and exaggeration mixed. Don’t be side tracked by the shred of truth! Grab the thought like a pit-bull and shake it until you find the lies, half-truths, and exaggerations in the anxiety producing thought.
Step three is to replace the lie with the truth. Here is where the maturing believer has an advantage. Pollyanna, feel good, positive thinking will not work in the long run. Our hearts have a lie detector and they will reject the phony. If we try to sell ourselves on a false piece of fluff it may help briefly, but it won’t last. But we can choose to reject the lie of exaggerated negativism and find the positive truth in most circumstances.
Keep in mind that you have been programmed to believe that false or half true belief. It will feel right and true. The real truth may feel “wrong” at first. You will have to stay at it and keep thinking the truth. Speaking it out loud at appropriate times can be helpful.
Applying appropriate Scripture to our lives can be a very powerful part of this. Find a Scripture that properly interpreted applies to your anxiety producing thought. i.e. Anxiety Producing Thought = “I must be in complete control of my world or it will fall apart.” Counter truth = “(Christ) upholds the universe by the word of his power” (Hebrews 1:3), or “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28 NIV).” So, if God is at work in everything, I don’t have to be control of everything.
Paul seems to be recommending something like this in Philippians 4:8,9 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (ESV)”
After you have done some “truth therapy” sit down again and score yourself. How much do you believe your anxiety producing thought now on that same 0 – 10 scale? How strong is your anxiety now on that scale? Most times, these numbers will be down.
The same kind of work can be done with those underlaying intermediate and core beliefs. But they are more resistant to change and will take more time, work and prayer.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Dealing with Anxiety - part 2
Cognitive strategies are often effective in dealing with anxiety. I’ll use this blog to lay the ground work for understanding cognitive strategies.
There is a constant, super rapid flow of thoughts going through our brains. This flow is estimated to be around 1,300 words per minute or 45,000 thoughts per day! Your anxiety is NOT caused by circumstances, it is caused by your thoughts about the circumstances. This is a major reason why two people can be facing virtually identical circumstances and one is at peace and the other is a basket case. One person sees the stock market report a 300 point loss and thinks, “I’m being ruined!” Their neighbor sees that same report and thinks, “This stinks, but it will come back up eventually, and if not, God will provide.” One way of thinking sends our body into fight or flight the other maintains equilibrium.
This constant flow of thoughts is called by cognitive behavioral psychologists “automatic thoughts” because they are just automatically flowing through our minds nonstop. The flavor of our automatic thoughts is conditioned by what are called intermediate beliefs and core beliefs. Think of intermediate beliefs as the attitudes and “rules” about life, self and others that you have picked up through life. Some of these are “shoulds” and “oughts”. “People should always be nice to me.” “I ought to keep everyone around me at peace.” Some of these come from parents or school or society. Others are shaped by our understanding and assumptions about what the powerful people around us want from us. Some of these beliefs can lead to success in life and peace of soul. But others are “crazy makers” that set us up for anxiety, depression or failure.
A common intermediate belief is “I am worthless if everyone does not love me.” Beliefs like this are huge anxiety creating machines! A co-worker sighs and shakes her head. Suzie assumes Jane is unhappy with her (actually Jane just thought about her teen age son’s drug use) and it quickly runs through Suzie’s mind, “I’m not keeping Jane happy. Jane doesn’t love me. Therefore I am worthless.” These thoughts cause her to feel uneasy and edgy. If she feeds this way of thinking she will become more and more anxious. Keep in mind you may not be aware of this chain of thought because it is zipping through your mind so quickly. Still, it can impact your emotions powerfully.
Core beliefs are similar to immediate beliefs but more deeply seated. They are usually ancient in that we picked them up early in life. Therefore, they are deeply entrenched, rigid and firmly believed no matter how irrational they may be. They can also be hard to be aware of and very hard to change.
Next blog we will look at how to use these insights to deal with anxiety.
There is a constant, super rapid flow of thoughts going through our brains. This flow is estimated to be around 1,300 words per minute or 45,000 thoughts per day! Your anxiety is NOT caused by circumstances, it is caused by your thoughts about the circumstances. This is a major reason why two people can be facing virtually identical circumstances and one is at peace and the other is a basket case. One person sees the stock market report a 300 point loss and thinks, “I’m being ruined!” Their neighbor sees that same report and thinks, “This stinks, but it will come back up eventually, and if not, God will provide.” One way of thinking sends our body into fight or flight the other maintains equilibrium.
This constant flow of thoughts is called by cognitive behavioral psychologists “automatic thoughts” because they are just automatically flowing through our minds nonstop. The flavor of our automatic thoughts is conditioned by what are called intermediate beliefs and core beliefs. Think of intermediate beliefs as the attitudes and “rules” about life, self and others that you have picked up through life. Some of these are “shoulds” and “oughts”. “People should always be nice to me.” “I ought to keep everyone around me at peace.” Some of these come from parents or school or society. Others are shaped by our understanding and assumptions about what the powerful people around us want from us. Some of these beliefs can lead to success in life and peace of soul. But others are “crazy makers” that set us up for anxiety, depression or failure.
A common intermediate belief is “I am worthless if everyone does not love me.” Beliefs like this are huge anxiety creating machines! A co-worker sighs and shakes her head. Suzie assumes Jane is unhappy with her (actually Jane just thought about her teen age son’s drug use) and it quickly runs through Suzie’s mind, “I’m not keeping Jane happy. Jane doesn’t love me. Therefore I am worthless.” These thoughts cause her to feel uneasy and edgy. If she feeds this way of thinking she will become more and more anxious. Keep in mind you may not be aware of this chain of thought because it is zipping through your mind so quickly. Still, it can impact your emotions powerfully.
Core beliefs are similar to immediate beliefs but more deeply seated. They are usually ancient in that we picked them up early in life. Therefore, they are deeply entrenched, rigid and firmly believed no matter how irrational they may be. They can also be hard to be aware of and very hard to change.
Next blog we will look at how to use these insights to deal with anxiety.
Dealing with Anxiety - part 1 (repost)
Would everyone who has never in their life been anxious please stop reading this immediately! So far I have eliminated no one! Anxiety is a painfully universal experience. The degree and intensity of what we experience may vary, but we all go through it. How do we effectively minimize the frequency and lessen the intensity of anxiety? Some simple basics can help. Some are common sense, others may be counter intuitive.
The first step is awareness. Learn to be sanely sensitive to your feelings. Common “Red Flags” for anxiety are feeling tightness in your muscles, breathing more shallow and quickly, sweating, thinking doom or catastrophe are about to hit, queasiness in your stomach.
Second, realize that in anxiety your “fight or flight” reflex is working against you. Your brain says “Danger, Will Robinson” and the message is sent for adrenalin to pour into your system. Your muscles tense, breathing gets shallow and fast. Your information loop shifts from your good reasoning center (the pre-frontal cortex) to the fight or flight center (the amygdala). The physical reactions tell your brain, “We are in trouble!” So the brain keeps the shift into fight or flight going in high gear.
This understanding leads to an effective strategy for reversing that negative biofeedback loop – choose to take control of your breathing! For a time, focus on your breathing. Take control and choose to breathe slowly and deeply. Pay attention to your rate of breathing and tell yourself to breathe in very, very slowly. Hold it a second. Then breathe out very controlled and very slow. Choose to continue breathing like this. Keep as much of your focus on your breathing as the situation allows.
This works for you in several ways. Number one it begins to reverse that biofeedback loop. As you slow your breathing your body begins to tell your brain, “Chill, there is no real danger here.” The subconscious parts of your brain respond by shut down the adrenalin. The shutdown of the adrenalin express begins to eliminate the muscle tension, sweating, and stomach distress. Some of this may not be immediate, but it begins as you choose to take control of your breathing. Secondly, the act of focusing on your breathing distracts you from the thoughts that contributed to your anxiety in the first place. (More on this in my next blog.)
So far we have seen that God has created us in such a way that there is a physical component to anxiety. He also created us so that we can choose to take control of that physical component by controlling our breathing. This simple step by itself is not a cure all, but is an extremely powerful part of dealing with anxiety. In my next blog we’ll look at other basics in dealing with anxiety.
The first step is awareness. Learn to be sanely sensitive to your feelings. Common “Red Flags” for anxiety are feeling tightness in your muscles, breathing more shallow and quickly, sweating, thinking doom or catastrophe are about to hit, queasiness in your stomach.
Second, realize that in anxiety your “fight or flight” reflex is working against you. Your brain says “Danger, Will Robinson” and the message is sent for adrenalin to pour into your system. Your muscles tense, breathing gets shallow and fast. Your information loop shifts from your good reasoning center (the pre-frontal cortex) to the fight or flight center (the amygdala). The physical reactions tell your brain, “We are in trouble!” So the brain keeps the shift into fight or flight going in high gear.
This understanding leads to an effective strategy for reversing that negative biofeedback loop – choose to take control of your breathing! For a time, focus on your breathing. Take control and choose to breathe slowly and deeply. Pay attention to your rate of breathing and tell yourself to breathe in very, very slowly. Hold it a second. Then breathe out very controlled and very slow. Choose to continue breathing like this. Keep as much of your focus on your breathing as the situation allows.
This works for you in several ways. Number one it begins to reverse that biofeedback loop. As you slow your breathing your body begins to tell your brain, “Chill, there is no real danger here.” The subconscious parts of your brain respond by shut down the adrenalin. The shutdown of the adrenalin express begins to eliminate the muscle tension, sweating, and stomach distress. Some of this may not be immediate, but it begins as you choose to take control of your breathing. Secondly, the act of focusing on your breathing distracts you from the thoughts that contributed to your anxiety in the first place. (More on this in my next blog.)
So far we have seen that God has created us in such a way that there is a physical component to anxiety. He also created us so that we can choose to take control of that physical component by controlling our breathing. This simple step by itself is not a cure all, but is an extremely powerful part of dealing with anxiety. In my next blog we’ll look at other basics in dealing with anxiety.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Surviving the Dry Times - part 2
Psalm 42:4, These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival.” One of the things that can keep us going through the dry times and eventually bring us out on the other side is remembering the good times, the times when we knew God was working in our hearts.
Dry times are a good time for self-evaluation. Do we feel distant from the Lord because we are living in unrepentant sin? If so, we feel distant because we are distant! Isaiah 59:2 “but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.” If we have sin that we refuse to turn from it will damage our fellowship with God. Our relationship with the Lord stands secure through the cross of Christ. But the joy of intimate fellowship will be broken until we choose God over our sin!
BUT NOT ALL DRY TIMES ARE CAUSED BY SIN. Elijah experienced a horrendous time of spiritual darkness right after his tremendous victory over the priests of Baal on Mount Carmel. Elijah had just prayed down fire from heaven followed by praying down rain after a 3 year drought. Then he is told that Queen Jezebel was going to kill him and the mighty man of God runs for his life (1 Kings 19:3)! He runs to wilderness and it interesting, I think, that God sends an angel to give him food and water two times. In this case, I believe we see that Elijah felt far from God because of spiritual exhaustion. The key point here is THERE ARE MANY CAUSES OF SPIRITUAL DRYNESS. It is not always the presence of sin in our lives. In fact, self delusion can fearfully cause a false sense of being alright with God even when we are living in sin.
God was not distant from Elijah in any sense when he ran from Jezebel. This man of faith who would later call down fire from heaven to destroy soldiers sent to arrest him not once, but twice, could have done so now. But in a state of emotional and spiritual exhaustion he panicked. I believe it is likely Elijah did not feel the presence of God in his life because of his exhaustion. Stress, pressure, the storms of life can produce spiritual dryness.
Spiritual neglect can lead to dry times. If we keep our Bibles closed, our knees unbent, or stay away from the house of God it will lead to dry times. And sometimes, I believe God allows dry times to work His purposes in our life.
But remember the times the hand of God was fresh on your life. Remember the times He has used you to bless others. And know that your Father not only wants to restore you to that wonderful place, He wants to deepen you so you can enjoy Him even more! Psalm 16:11 “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Our loving Father fervently wants us to find deep joy and profound pleasure in Him! Yet sometimes He uses the dry times to deepen us, to cleanse us so that we can enjoy Him more.
This is why there are no “3 Easy Steps to Overcome Spiritual Dryness”. Sometimes we just have to hunker down and hold on and trust by Holy Spirit given faith that our Triune God is holding on to us and He will not, absolutely will not let us go no matter what our feelings may be crying out at the moment.
Dry times are a good time for self-evaluation. Do we feel distant from the Lord because we are living in unrepentant sin? If so, we feel distant because we are distant! Isaiah 59:2 “but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.” If we have sin that we refuse to turn from it will damage our fellowship with God. Our relationship with the Lord stands secure through the cross of Christ. But the joy of intimate fellowship will be broken until we choose God over our sin!
BUT NOT ALL DRY TIMES ARE CAUSED BY SIN. Elijah experienced a horrendous time of spiritual darkness right after his tremendous victory over the priests of Baal on Mount Carmel. Elijah had just prayed down fire from heaven followed by praying down rain after a 3 year drought. Then he is told that Queen Jezebel was going to kill him and the mighty man of God runs for his life (1 Kings 19:3)! He runs to wilderness and it interesting, I think, that God sends an angel to give him food and water two times. In this case, I believe we see that Elijah felt far from God because of spiritual exhaustion. The key point here is THERE ARE MANY CAUSES OF SPIRITUAL DRYNESS. It is not always the presence of sin in our lives. In fact, self delusion can fearfully cause a false sense of being alright with God even when we are living in sin.
God was not distant from Elijah in any sense when he ran from Jezebel. This man of faith who would later call down fire from heaven to destroy soldiers sent to arrest him not once, but twice, could have done so now. But in a state of emotional and spiritual exhaustion he panicked. I believe it is likely Elijah did not feel the presence of God in his life because of his exhaustion. Stress, pressure, the storms of life can produce spiritual dryness.
Spiritual neglect can lead to dry times. If we keep our Bibles closed, our knees unbent, or stay away from the house of God it will lead to dry times. And sometimes, I believe God allows dry times to work His purposes in our life.
But remember the times the hand of God was fresh on your life. Remember the times He has used you to bless others. And know that your Father not only wants to restore you to that wonderful place, He wants to deepen you so you can enjoy Him even more! Psalm 16:11 “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Our loving Father fervently wants us to find deep joy and profound pleasure in Him! Yet sometimes He uses the dry times to deepen us, to cleanse us so that we can enjoy Him more.
This is why there are no “3 Easy Steps to Overcome Spiritual Dryness”. Sometimes we just have to hunker down and hold on and trust by Holy Spirit given faith that our Triune God is holding on to us and He will not, absolutely will not let us go no matter what our feelings may be crying out at the moment.
Surviving the Dry Times - part 1
There is a corny old joke about a couple who had been married for 40 years, Harold and Harriet, driving down the road in an old Cadillac with a bench seat in front. Harriet suddenly said, “Harry, we don’t sit as close as we did when we first got married, and I don’t like it!” Harry drove silently for several seconds and then replied, “Harriet, I haven’t moved.”
Lately I’ve had a time in my spiritual life in which God seems far away. But you know, He’s in the driver’s seat and He hasn’t moved! Do you ever have these times when you feel empty, your heart feels cold, and God seems very distant?
The writers of the book of Psalms had times like these. Psalm 88:14, “O LORD, why do you cast my soul away? Why do you hide your face from me?” It is so painful for the child of God when it feels like God is hiding His face from us! In Psalm 42:9 we read, “I say to God, my rock: ‘Why have you forgotten me?”
The Psalmist points us toward help in these dry times: “My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you (Psalm 42:6).” One of the keys of enduring the dry times is remembering God and His work in our life. Now be warned, it does not work like “take two and call in the morning.” Psalm 77:3 is painfully real when it says, “When I remember God I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints.” There are dark nights of the soul that are so deep that when we first try to turn to the Lord it just makes it more painful! No matter how dry or even painful that turning toward Christ may feel, it is what we need at those times!
Back in Psalm 42 we find wise spiritual direction; “These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival.” He remembered times when he was spiritually with it! Times when the joy of the Lord filled his entire being. Times when he was doing effective ministry (“and lead them in procession to the house of God…).
I know from experience there are times when these memories temporarily make things worse. I contrast “the good times” with how bad it seems now and it seems all the more horrible. At those times what I need to do is to remember how good it was and that God hasn’t moved! That means it can be that good again.
Also, God hasn’t moved! He is still there! We may not feel His closeness, His love, His acceptance. But Christ said He would never leave us and never forsake us. The God who blessed us and used us wonderfully in the high tide is the same God who is silently holding us and sustaining us in the desert experience.
Lately I’ve had a time in my spiritual life in which God seems far away. But you know, He’s in the driver’s seat and He hasn’t moved! Do you ever have these times when you feel empty, your heart feels cold, and God seems very distant?
The writers of the book of Psalms had times like these. Psalm 88:14, “O LORD, why do you cast my soul away? Why do you hide your face from me?” It is so painful for the child of God when it feels like God is hiding His face from us! In Psalm 42:9 we read, “I say to God, my rock: ‘Why have you forgotten me?”
The Psalmist points us toward help in these dry times: “My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you (Psalm 42:6).” One of the keys of enduring the dry times is remembering God and His work in our life. Now be warned, it does not work like “take two and call in the morning.” Psalm 77:3 is painfully real when it says, “When I remember God I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints.” There are dark nights of the soul that are so deep that when we first try to turn to the Lord it just makes it more painful! No matter how dry or even painful that turning toward Christ may feel, it is what we need at those times!
Back in Psalm 42 we find wise spiritual direction; “These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival.” He remembered times when he was spiritually with it! Times when the joy of the Lord filled his entire being. Times when he was doing effective ministry (“and lead them in procession to the house of God…).
I know from experience there are times when these memories temporarily make things worse. I contrast “the good times” with how bad it seems now and it seems all the more horrible. At those times what I need to do is to remember how good it was and that God hasn’t moved! That means it can be that good again.
Also, God hasn’t moved! He is still there! We may not feel His closeness, His love, His acceptance. But Christ said He would never leave us and never forsake us. The God who blessed us and used us wonderfully in the high tide is the same God who is silently holding us and sustaining us in the desert experience.
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