… “I put off coming to you because only crazy people go to counselors!” I hear that fairly often! I usually try to help the client normalize their feelings by agreeing that a lot of people feel that way. But actually everyone has problems and it requires wisdom and a degree of maturity to admit we can benefit from talking to someone with the training and gifts to help.
In fact, some of my most exciting times as a pastoral counselor have been when someone has come simply seeking personal growth. Helping with the overwhelming crises of life is rewarding and makes up much of my work. But even then, once you get past the “help me survive” phase, the focus shifts to helping the person find a way to grow through the crisis God has allowed in their life. Helping people grow in faith, grow in maturity, grow as persons is what Christian counseling is all about. Scripture makes clear that God’s purpose in every believer’s life is for us to be growing more and more into the image of His beloved Son (2 Cor. 3:18; Gal. 4:19; Rom. 8:29).
Sometimes we hit growth barriers that need a more objective viewpoint. If you are there, think of reaching out to someone for help. If you are a pastor and know someone who is there and your schedule doesn’t permit investing the time they need, send them my way!
Assisting in growth is more about asking the right questions than having all the answers. I don’t have all the answers, but I prayerfully work at asking the right kind of questions. Is there something in your past that contributes to this barrier? Is there a way of thinking, an attitude that needs adjustment to move ahead? Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Is “the problem” really the problem or is there something else going on? The list is endless and has to be tailored for each person.
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