Dealing with Anxiety - part 3

In a cognitive approach to anxiety step one is becoming aware of our automatic thoughts. When you feel anxiety starting ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way?” It is normal to try to blame some circumstance. Stop yourself and ask, “What did I think about that situation that made me anxious? “ If you can’t remember, then ask, “”What do kind of thought about this situation would have made me anxious? What do I think I thought?” Remembering the exact thought is not essential, getting the flavor of it is what counts.

It can be helpful to write out the anxiety producing thought. Then score yourself on how strongly you believe right then on a scale of 0(not at all) to 10 (completely believe it). Also score your anxiety on a similar scale or 0 (perfect calmness) to 10 (ready to run down the street screaming and pulling your hair out).

Step two is to ruthlessly analyze the anxiety producing thought. Remember the best lie is the lie that has a shred of truth in it. Your anxiety is probably produced by thinking that has truth and exaggeration mixed. Don’t be side tracked by the shred of truth! Grab the thought like a pit-bull and shake it until you find the lies, half-truths, and exaggerations in the anxiety producing thought.

Step three is to replace the lie with the truth. Here is where the maturing believer has an advantage. Pollyanna, feel good, positive thinking will not work in the long run. Our hearts have a lie detector and they will reject the phony. If we try to sell ourselves on a false piece of fluff it may help briefly, but it won’t last. But we can choose to reject the lie of exaggerated negativism and find the positive truth in most circumstances.

Keep in mind that you have been programmed to believe that false or half true belief. It will feel right and true. The real truth may feel “wrong” at first. You will have to stay at it and keep thinking the truth. Speaking it out loud at appropriate times can be helpful.

Applying appropriate Scripture to our lives can be a very powerful part of this. Find a Scripture that properly interpreted applies to your anxiety producing thought. i.e. Anxiety Producing Thought = “I must be in complete control of my world or it will fall apart.” Counter truth = “(Christ) upholds the universe by the word of his power” (Hebrews 1:3), or “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28 NIV).” So, if God is at work in everything, I don’t have to be control of everything.

Paul seems to be recommending something like this in Philippians 4:8,9 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (ESV)”

After you have done some “truth therapy” sit down again and score yourself. How much do you believe your anxiety producing thought now on that same 0 – 10 scale? How strong is your anxiety now on that scale? Most times, these numbers will be down.

The same kind of work can be done with those underlaying intermediate and core beliefs. But they are more resistant to change and will take more time, work and prayer.

Dealing with Anxiety - part 2

Cognitive strategies are often effective in dealing with anxiety. I’ll use this blog to lay the ground work for understanding cognitive strategies.

There is a constant, super rapid flow of thoughts going through our brains. This flow is estimated to be around 1,300 words per minute or 45,000 thoughts per day! Your anxiety is NOT caused by circumstances, it is caused by your thoughts about the circumstances. This is a major reason why two people can be facing virtually identical circumstances and one is at peace and the other is a basket case. One person sees the stock market report a 300 point loss and thinks, “I’m being ruined!” Their neighbor sees that same report and thinks, “This stinks, but it will come back up eventually, and if not, God will provide.” One way of thinking sends our body into fight or flight the other maintains equilibrium.

This constant flow of thoughts is called by cognitive behavioral psychologists “automatic thoughts” because they are just automatically flowing through our minds nonstop. The flavor of our automatic thoughts is conditioned by what are called intermediate beliefs and core beliefs. Think of intermediate beliefs as the attitudes and “rules” about life, self and others that you have picked up through life. Some of these are “shoulds” and “oughts”. “People should always be nice to me.” “I ought to keep everyone around me at peace.” Some of these come from parents or school or society. Others are shaped by our understanding and assumptions about what the powerful people around us want from us. Some of these beliefs can lead to success in life and peace of soul. But others are “crazy makers” that set us up for anxiety, depression or failure.

A common intermediate belief is “I am worthless if everyone does not love me.” Beliefs like this are huge anxiety creating machines! A co-worker sighs and shakes her head. Suzie assumes Jane is unhappy with her (actually Jane just thought about her teen age son’s drug use) and it quickly runs through Suzie’s mind, “I’m not keeping Jane happy. Jane doesn’t love me. Therefore I am worthless.” These thoughts cause her to feel uneasy and edgy. If she feeds this way of thinking she will become more and more anxious. Keep in mind you may not be aware of this chain of thought because it is zipping through your mind so quickly. Still, it can impact your emotions powerfully.

Core beliefs are similar to immediate beliefs but more deeply seated. They are usually ancient in that we picked them up early in life. Therefore, they are deeply entrenched, rigid and firmly believed no matter how irrational they may be. They can also be hard to be aware of and very hard to change.

Next blog we will look at how to use these insights to deal with anxiety.